Reds Game

Dan and I went to another Red's game. He is a huge fan and I have no team affiliation which means I am fine with being a Red's fan...and can see myself fully diving into the crazy world of "being a fan" of a certain team. I love sports and watching sports but have never had a certain team I loved. I think that is about to change. We had a perfect day for the game and even took some time to visit Ikea. The store can be very overwhelming but Dan and I have fun browsing together so I knew we would have a good time. We got some idea's for the house and than headed to the game.

In the city before heading to the game

It was a night game (which I had never been to before) but was really fun. Dan's sister and one of her friends also came with us. After the game we went to have some of the best Ice cream I have ever had at Graeter's...seriously, soooo good!

So many good flavors!

It was a great day and even though we got home really late, I was glad we went! What a fantastic way to spend a Saturday in the summer :)

Cupcakes

Yes...they are as yummy as they look!

Golf

Dan and I decided to play some putt putt golf one weekend. The weather was amazing and it was something we had not done yet this summer. I grew up playing Putt Putt with my cousins and have taken past staff's. Needless to say I was pretty excited about this. Here are some pic's of us playing:

Dan got 3 holes in one...I got none :( but we had a ton of fun. The best part was that the place was literally someones back yard and the boundary is the rail road tracks that run through part of the town. So we naturally had to get some pic's there too.

Cleaning off the area before the next swing

It was a bit more challenging that what one might thing at first and I am hoping we have time to go back another weekend to play again.

Cooking

I don't cook as often as I wish I could but I did get to make a meal I wanted to share with everyone. I made this in July and forgot about the pic's on my camera until recently...oops :) So here is what I made, potatoes and carrots seasoned with the same seasoning as the chicken. I looked up a recipe on-line and gave it a whirl. Here are the before pic's:

And the finished product!

It was really good and very tasty...not to mention healthy :)

Too much

Doesn't life sometimes feel like too much? I have days when I simply feel overwhelmed and I know from others I have talked to they feel the same way too. What ever happened to simplicity in life? Why did that ever go out of fashion? At what point did we start to believe that by having things "my way" or "super sized" that we would be happier? Because when I look at my life the moments I feel overwhelmed is when I am trying to do to much, trying to be too much, and trying to help others too much.

Life should be about moderation not indulgence. We can't continually give out of our empty cup, curse ourselves for not being able to give more, and than wonder why we are tired, cranky, and irritated about things. When will enough be enough? Please don't think I am not speaking to myself as I write this post...this is a refresher for me in my heart too. We don't have to "have it all" to be happy. I shouldn't need a TV, DVD player, smart phone, lap top, cable, shopping to just shop, the Internet, or other THINGS in my life to entertain me and keep me on task. Just writing that list makes me tired.

Yes...I need the Internet and my computer to work (seeing as I have to set up teams to go overseas) but do have I to sit on my computer for hours at a time surfing facebook instead of meeting up with a friend? Yes, I need a phone to talk to people but when did I start to let the phone control me? Why do I HAVE to answer it when ever someone calls...isn't that what voicemail is for? And honestly if you don't leave me a message I probably won't call you back, because in my mind if it is that important you will either call back or leave a message. I get tired to having to compete with technology in my relationships with people. I know of someone who will text constantly even when they have friends in from out of town.

Why? Why does all our technology matter so much. It is suppose to make life easier and yet I find that we are over connected in life. I don't post everything I am thinking or feeling on facebook and I refuse to get a twitter account. I also realize me having a blog might seem to go against what I am writing but if you look back through my posts I don't pour out my heart and soul on here because my heart and soul are only for people who I choose to share that part of my heart with. I love having deep conversations...in person! Use the Internet and technology to help you accomplish what needs to be done and than turn it off, meet up with someone, read a book, or go outside. Life is better unpluged! Life is better with balance and simplicity.

Being back

They always talk about how going back some place after being gone is never the same. Coming back to Cambodia was a whirl wind this past week and I hadn't really prepared myself. I thought I had nothing to prepare for. But after getting back to my hotel room feeling very sad I realized I was wrong. I was able to Skype with Dan and talking through everything helped.

The person I was who left in December is not the same person I am now. This place is no longer home but a place that is familiar. It feels easy being here and yet hard too. I feel torn and misplaced...almost like Cambodia forgot me once I left. But so much is still the same...which adds another layer of feeling. I know some of my perception might be from my jet leg and that I miss Dan so much it hurts. But part of me was not prepared to realized what Cambodia was for me last year is not what it will be about this year.

It helps to know this is ok...as does lunch with friends. I met up with a group of people for lunch today and it helped me remember what part of Cambodia will always be mine. It was easy to sit and be with these people. To laugh together and dive right into deep conversations. It didn't feel like 7 months since I saw them and being with them did good things for my heart. I loved sitting on the floor again and eating yummy Khmer food (which my body was excited about). It was good to hear their excitement for my up coming marriage, asking when they will get to meet Dan (thinking he might be coming too this week), and wanting to go out and celebrate our engagement while I am here.

This being only day one...well God only knows how the rest of the week will go :)

Getting Married :)

This past weekend I went shopping for my wedding dress :) Here are some fun pictures...

She really liked this dress

My roommate won her over quickly

the dress had extra fabric she was hiding in

My sister trying on a bridesmaid dress

Smile :)

You will have to wait for after the wedding to see pictures of my dress :)

Engaged :)

It is only half way through July but this month has been a whirlwind. It started off with getting engaged on July 1st and the wedding planning that has followed has been keeping me busy. It feels almost surreal at moments to realize I am getting married and also the most natural thing. I have tons of excitement and joy inside my heart when I think about spending the rest of my life with the man I love. I can't imagine anyone else making me feel the way he does.

There are days and times (especially after registering for gifts:)) when we both really want the next few months to go by quickly. But I have to remind myself that such good things can happen in this between time. We have good conversations about life as issues come up, working together to get things done, and getting to begin planning a life together. There are some sad things as well for me in getting married...I know that I won't get to live with my current roommate much longer and I won't be living with anther girl after this fall. I have loved living in female community and will miss so much of that.

I feel that is always the tension with change...the good and the bad. The exciting and the sadness. The sorrow and the joy. I was reminded earlier this year that you can't have both, living single and living married. Both can not exist in a life together. You have to choose. Which means that as sad as I am to leave my single life I can see the joy and adventure of being married and am very excited about what lies ahead.

All the Single Ladies....

There are things that we sometimes have to let go of. I have been finding myself feeling sad the last few days. I always ask myself what this might be about so I can air it out and give it the space it needs. I realized today that I have been holding back some of my happiness when I think about being in a relationship. I have been holding back because I feel bad...I am struggling to let go of being a single friend and now a dating friend.

There is a sisterhood that I have been a part of that I have to let go of. Being a part of a group of single friends has been a huge part of surviving in singleness and now I have to allow that part of my life to change. I think in my heart a part of me feels slightly guilty for all the time I spend with my boyfriend and not pursuing other relationships, I feel guilty that I don't have as much time to pour into some amazing women in my life, and I feel guilty because right now I just want to spend as much time as possible with my boyfriend because we don't live in the same town.

 Some people might not understand why I would be sad about leaving singleness and I would love to give you a list of all the amazing things I have been able to do and enjoy in my singleness...but what makes me the most sad is having to leave some of my "sisters" in singleness, especially those who I know want to leave it as well. I feel a divide coming between me and some of my friends and then wonder if it is about my new relationship status or just where we are in our relationship.

So I just want to say Thank You to all the amazing women I have lived with, laughed with, and cried with. To all of you who have traveled with me on this journey and helped me learn how to survive in singleness. I am a better woman today because of all of you. You have always been there for me and I hope you know I will still always be here for you. You are amazing and I love you.

Dallas, Part two

We also decided to go to the Zoo, which was tons of fun.

They did exercises with the Cheetah's so we got to see them up close.

One of my highlights from the trip!

Little different from the Elephant rides in Cambodia

This turtle was really slow :)

seriously...which dark spot is the actual eye! We couldn't decide!

To end our trip we stopped at Whataburger on the way to the airport. Best burger I have ever had! I took a bite and told Dan we should move to Texas :)

view from plane

The rest of our in-between time was playing games, watching movies, and playing Dr. Mario on the Wii. It was a great trip and I am excited to go back when we visit Dan's family again. It was nice being surprised by Texas.

Dallas, Part one

I can't say I have always been a huge fan of Texas. Granted my experience with Dallas was watching my Dad navigate the express ways, which are stacked 5 high in some places. After spending 4 days there I can honestly say I was won over. We got to see lots of fun stuff and eat lots of good food (not to mention the amazing sweet tea!). Here are some pictures of what we did...

An indoor rain forest at the Aquarium

Loved these little guys and their mustaches!

Manatee

Holding a Sea Urchin

After going to the Aquarium we went to the Museum for the J.F.K. Assassination spot. It was really well done and very interesting. We drove down the street where he was shot (they have an X on the pavement) because it is still a road that is used.

Grand Haven

I love the beach...nothing else feels as right to me than standing by a large body of water. I love the smell, the sounds, and the calm I feel inside. This past weekend I got to go to one of my favorite places in the world. It was a little chilly for June in Michigan to be at the beach but the sun was out and we even saw a couple bridal party's who were getting their pictures taken.

 Here are a few pictures...

We saw the pier, climbed a sand dune, and ate amazing pizza! What a great way to spend a Saturday! I can't wait to go back up when it is a little bit warmer :)

Summer....at last!

This is what summer is about...spending time with friends, going to baseball games, and enjoying the warm weather. And I got to do all three this  past weekend!

Red's were playing the Dodgers...we were cheering for the Red's



Me and my roommate



 This is how Saturday's were meant to be spent! Though it was really hot and we had to sit in the sun for most of the game, it was a great day. (not that I minded the heat, thank you Cambodia) And we finished it up by getting ice cream from Graeter's...now I understand why my boyfriend can't stop talking about it :)

Dinner

I made dinner the other night. I know this might not sound interesting but I was very excited about it for a couple reasons. One reason being I had gotten home from work and typically after work cooking is the last thing I want to do. Another reason was I was excited about what I was going to make. Having a plan before going to work I think is the key to me feeling better motivated to cook once I get home. So I threw together the following meal...

Asparagus

Rice

Salmon

I loved this meal! It was very yummy and healthy! And nothing beats the feeling of sitting down to a meal knowing it is going to be good.

Love Wins

Be warned...I'm getting on my soap box entitled "pet peeves with the 'Christian Community' ".
Rob Bell has been stirring up the Christan Community. And as usual the Community has responded in the typical way. We don't want to be seen as close-minded Christians (well at least some of us do) yet the Christian book stores in my town won't sell his book. Are we that afraid that the Christian Community can't think for themselves? Do we have to be censored by the Christians Book Store?

We allow fear to motivate us and I get tired of it...don't you? I hate seeing fear and feeling myself wanting to respond out of it. That is crap! Can we not appreciate that someone is raising questions...valid or not...and it gives us the chance to dig into the book and discover what God can stir in our hearts? You don't have to agree with him just because you read his book.

Yet the Christan Community is reacting and I am sad to see it. I am reading the book (which is also something not everyone in the debate will even bother doing) and finding great words of truth...truth that sadly some will miss because of their fear. Can we please start accepting challenges knowing that God can handle it. It isn't our job to teach Rob Bell a lesson by not selling his book...if he is wrong God is the one who will correct him.

This is a quote I was sent recently by a friend, "Truth fears no Questions." So what truth do you believe? Do you believe in a truth that can handle these big issues? Or do you believe in a truth that you have to protect? This is my soap box...which I will now step down from. I just desire so deeply that people will stop choosing what others say over taking the time to discover their oppinions for themselves.

p.s. I recognize that some people will read the book and still not agree and I love that. Just don't lash judgment out on things you haven't taken the time to investigate for yourself.

Celebration of Death

Streets filling with crowds cheering U. S. A....excitement and celebration over a planned hit, over murder. It has been ten years that we have been hunting Osama Bin Laden and yesterday they killed him and took his body. Yet people here are glad and I find it haunting and sad.  Does killing him really feel like victory? He has been training men to be terrorists and by killing him none of that changes. And do we really want to be a country that celebrates us murdering people?

We seem to be a Reactive country...you come here and hurt us we will hunt you down and hurt you. Isn't that what our involvement with WWII was about? That has been our stance since 9-11...find and kill. How will this be weighted against us as a nation. The President said last night "God bless America" and I had to think... Why? Why bless a nation who chooses vengeance and murder? Why bless a country that uses hurt as justification to kill? Why bless a nation that is so busy caring about ourselves we do nothing to stop terrorist except through violence? Would the same people cheering last night ever be willing to serve a year giving a good education to the poor and illiterate communities where the Taliban recruits from? Would they be willing to give money to help empower the people there to not have to choose to eat or to fight? Would they do everything they could be provide a good education instead of the slanted one the terrorists give?

Why can't we be proactive? If we really wanted to get back at the Taliban for coming and causing terror here why not rush into those countries and love them? Why not cut down on the places they can intimadate? Why not run into their towns and show compassion and grace? Love and mercy doesn't cost lives...it can transform souls. Because it is less about what we feel like we deserve and more about how we can keep other young lives from having to choose being a terrorist to survive. The government can't do it...but small grass root organizations can and are working towards these things.

Yet in we ran with guns...killing. How does that make us any better then them? How does that make up for the loss of the precious lives we lost ten years ago? It doesn't...it makes it all feel hollow. Revenge never feels as good as we think it will. Why do we deserve to be vindicated and not the people who have to daily live under the Taliban's rule? We believe in freedom...but just for us.

Open the door

Sometimes it is hard to open the door; because when you open the door you are letting in what is waiting. Yesterday I had to open the door to my sadness. It had been waiting for me to notice it and desiring to be let in, and yesterday it was time. It is time to admit that I am loosing my Grandmother. A woman who I admire and love deeply and have had to watch slowly disappear. Life takes on a new perspective when you allow truth to enter. So last night I knew it was time and found sadness walking into my heart.

It felt heavy and I was able to talk with my boyfriend about some of it, he even offered to come over but I said no. Even though I desired nothing more than to sit with him in my sadness and know that I wasn't alone in it. When I called a friend a few minutes later to talk about other things my sadness was bringing up and mentioned about wanting my boyfriend to come but telling him no, she told me to call him back let him come and love me. So I did.

In my family I have always seen and heard the message that we are not suppose to be needy or ask someone to give up their plans if we don't feel ok. In those moments I felt selfish and silly but as soon as I was in his arms I knew that those voices are not truth. So my boyfriend sat with me in my sadness. He held me and allowed me to sit in silence feeling the sadness wash over my heart. He listened as I cried my tears and spoke of the woman I am loosing in my life and how hard it is.

And that was all my sadness wanted. It just needed a place to feel safe, a place to be heard, a place to just be. And when I was done crying and took a few deep breaths I felt sadness get up and leave. It didn't have to linger; that is never what sadness has to be about. It just needed to be invited in and heard. It just needed me to open the door.