It felt heavy and I was able to talk with my boyfriend about some of it, he even offered to come over but I said no. Even though I desired nothing more than to sit with him in my sadness and know that I wasn't alone in it. When I called a friend a few minutes later to talk about other things my sadness was bringing up and mentioned about wanting my boyfriend to come but telling him no, she told me to call him back let him come and love me. So I did.
In my family I have always seen and heard the message that we are not suppose to be needy or ask someone to give up their plans if we don't feel ok. In those moments I felt selfish and silly but as soon as I was in his arms I knew that those voices are not truth. So my boyfriend sat with me in my sadness. He held me and allowed me to sit in silence feeling the sadness wash over my heart. He listened as I cried my tears and spoke of the woman I am loosing in my life and how hard it is.
And that was all my sadness wanted. It just needed a place to feel safe, a place to be heard, a place to just be. And when I was done crying and took a few deep breaths I felt sadness get up and leave. It didn't have to linger; that is never what sadness has to be about. It just needed to be invited in and heard. It just needed me to open the door.
