The Burden

I was doing my devotions yesterday and found myself intrigued with what I was studying. I am reading the book "Edges of His Ways" by Amy Carmichael.  I have read this book before and love seeing what God pulls out when I go through a devotional a second time. To give you some context: Amy Carmichael was a missionary to South India in 1895 and this book is from her notes. I can't imagine the challenges of living overseas with no way to connect back home...yet like so many before her, she did.

Numbers 7:9 Upon their shoulders
 "The burdens we have to carry on our shoulders are what our God counts most precious."

This year is about experiencing God as Relentless and seeing the ways He is calling me to be Relentless as well. I was challenged to think about how I view my burdens, those things which weigh heavy on my heart and mind. The things which I struggle under and fall to my knees in prayer begging God to release me from. When in great need my face touches the floor and I will feel God's peace and strength fill me so I can rise carrying what He has asked.

God is calling me to be Relentless with these burdens, with this weight I carry. To carry them with joy and faith as God is being Relentless to use them to continue to shape me; burning away the ugliness and sin in my heart. The burden is part of what keeps me coming back to God, because sadly I'm not sure how often I would return if the weight didn't, at times, bring me to my knees. It is an easy choice not to become bitter or angry with the Lord. I trust Him. I believe Him. And He has been on this journey with me for too long for my heart to think He is not working towards something good in my life. He is the Healer, Life giver, Lover, and Purchaser of me.

As I sat with the Lord this morning talking about my burdens, tears streaming down my face, I heard His gentle whisper..."Do you trust me?" Do I trust Him enough to know He knows more and loves the people I love more than I ever could? That He is working towards something yet unseen to me? That He is producing things in me and the people I love through these burdens? That He is being Relentless with my heart as I Relentlessly work to choose joy? Yes Lord, I do...this is most precious to Him.

The Lotus Flower...pushing its way through heavy mud and dirt to find freedom

Extra's

I'm not sure we have enough pens or post-it notes....

Let the weeding out continue......

Valentine's Day

This week was about celebration, first with Dan's birthday on Monday and then Valentine's Day on Tuesday.  Seeing as we are trying to live on a budget we decided on going out for dinner and spending the rest of the evening at home. When I woke up Tuesday morning I found a dozen roses in the bathroom, which was amazing :)

We even got to have lunch together, which was also fun. We had been talking about where we wanted to go for dinner the previous night and decided on the Thai restaurant we both like, which meant Chinese for lunch and Thai for dinner...not that either of us minded :) I took some time to curl my hair before Dan got home so we could head out in hopes of getting a table.

The Shirley Temple look

We had a lot of fun and the food is always really good.  Back home we enjoyed watching New Girl (great new show if you haven't seen it) and cuddling on the couch. It was a great Valentine's Day and we both feel very blessed having each other in our lives.

Happy Birthday!

Today is Dan's Birthday... but we celebrated with our families this past weekend. My parents came down from Michigan, stopping to pick up his favorite doughnuts on the way, and brought down a few last wedding gifts and Dan's presents. We had a nice time chatting and playing cards after lunch before heading up to Shipshewana. We meet up with his parents and sister Emily for dinner. We had ate at the Blue Gate Resturant, which is always very good. My parents then drove home and the rest of us headed back to our house for cake and homemade ice cream.

I had fun using our ice cream maker and was excited to see how easily it was to use. I made strawberry sorbet and vanilla ice cream to go with the yellow cake with white frosting I made. We ate and gave Dan his gifts. Tonight Dan and I are going out for dinner and hopefully relaxing the rest of the evening. The interesting thing is everyone wishing Dan well for his last year in his 20's...I can't say being 30 is a huge deal to either of us. I think we are really going to enjoy our 30's and look forward to what things wait for us during that time in our life.

Weeding Out

Perhaps this is the time of year when most people do their "spring cleaning". A time when we look through what we have and decided what we need to get rid of. I don't know if Dan and I are "spring cleaning" but we are weeding out things from our house. I have boxes of things from childhood, previous jobs, and school. I found old stuffed animals and clothes that I haven't worn in a year.

As we are finding time to grab a box and sort things out we have been making piles. Piles to be donated, piles to dump, and piles to sell. It feels good to be weeding out our life. There is a calm that comes for me in being released from these things. I remember an old Adventure's in Odyssey broadcast (some of you know what I am talking about :)) that dealt with this topic. Adventure's in Odyssey was a radio show on in the evenings from Focus on the Family. They were always good and fun to listen to, but the one that I remember is when a guy had his "things" start talking to him. His toaster had demands about being cleaned out and his car was upset about something else. The guy on the show was running around trying to take care of everything.

The message that I hear loud and clear is that having "things" needs to be balanced...we shouldn't let our "things" control our life. As I have been looking at all my "things" I have to ask myself why I want to keep it. Why have I wanted to move it the past several moves? Why is it important to me? And the perspective that helps me let go the fastest is, why does it matter? Is this "thing" I have been storing in a box helping me fulfill God's call in my life or keeping me tied down away from it?

I want the freedom that comes from not having to maintain "things". As an RD I made sure to have furniture and other items in my house that if they were broken I wouldn't mind...not that I didn't have nice things, I just needed to be a step removed. I wanted to keep in mind that spending time with my staff and loving them was more important then the food they might spill on my couch or the mud on my floors.

What matters is not having a house full of things that when I am gone for a year I don't miss. So much of what I have been throwing away are things that I couldn't have told you I even had. I have been living with out them so why continue to keep them? I do have things that I have sentimental value in and those I keep. But I can't express the amazing freedom of being released from "things". To let what doesn't matter in my life slip away allowing space for the many things that do.