This is a little bit from my media fast journal. A reminder God gave me today when life just seems to happen...
I have found that in all of this I have seen God break down my expectations and generalities. Things I believe or thought I hold strong to, I see God challenging and nudging me to look deeper, search longer, and to look at things from a different perspective. I have felt God close and I have felt God near. I sit during my times of frustration and battle things out with God instead of calling someone and find peace in this. I watch my life moving around me and notice the differences in how I handle things now then what I have in the past. I see growth and that encourages me.
I still see myself laying things down at God’s feet, walking away a bit and then look down to see I am still caring it. I wrestle with it a little more and then put it back at God’s feet only to walk away and see I am still carrying part of it. I struggle with wanting control but realizing that in turning control over to God I allow myself to be a part of His bigger plan. I have to accept that life will not turn out exactly how I want it and I have to be ok with that. God has to be my constant source of power and of strength. He has to be my everything or I am nothing. The little adage I have been saying to myself a lot lately is “Lord I am willing, and You are able.” I cling to my faith and allow God to direct my path. I admit to Him when I am scared and terrified. I talk myself to death and then wait for Him to whispers in my ear. It is always just the right words at just the right time. They are never the words I was expecting but the words I needed to hear.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Life
Life is good. I find that even in a non-scheduled time like right now I have found a rhythm to life and find myself keeping up quite fine. It has been hard seeing my staff leave. I enjoy being in the middle, knowing people and having built the relationships.
May term around here is different but has been very good. I have been busy with Ultimate Frisbee, Volleyball, Running, Biking, hanging out, reading, sun bathing :), and seeing clients. I even have picked up a new sport...Tennis. Melody was nice enough to take me out and teach me a little bit. Let's just say my reflexes are much more geared for Raquetball or volleyball :). In a sport where you don't snap your wrist or try to pelt the ball as hard as you can I was finding it hard to restrain myself.
I also have a officially crossed over in the game Axis and Allies...I woke up this morning, after playing 6-7 hours last night, thinking about what I was going to do tonight when we get together to play! I laughed with the guys about this because when I first learned how to play I didn't even think I was going to like the game.
This summer I will be staying busy with Clients, classes, a summer staff, and some time with friends. This is my life right now...And I love it! I plan on trying to suck the marrow out of life right were I am. I want to drink deep during this season of my life as God is preparing me for the next one :)
May term around here is different but has been very good. I have been busy with Ultimate Frisbee, Volleyball, Running, Biking, hanging out, reading, sun bathing :), and seeing clients. I even have picked up a new sport...Tennis. Melody was nice enough to take me out and teach me a little bit. Let's just say my reflexes are much more geared for Raquetball or volleyball :). In a sport where you don't snap your wrist or try to pelt the ball as hard as you can I was finding it hard to restrain myself.
I also have a officially crossed over in the game Axis and Allies...I woke up this morning, after playing 6-7 hours last night, thinking about what I was going to do tonight when we get together to play! I laughed with the guys about this because when I first learned how to play I didn't even think I was going to like the game.
This summer I will be staying busy with Clients, classes, a summer staff, and some time with friends. This is my life right now...And I love it! I plan on trying to suck the marrow out of life right were I am. I want to drink deep during this season of my life as God is preparing me for the next one :)
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Cleaning
It is funny to me to be sitting here blogging and feeling content because I have spent the earlier part of this afternoon cleaning and washing and sorting. A feeling I have been waiting for all week. I have been eyeing my spare bedroom and spying the piles I want to divide and conquer. I love being organized! :) But in typing an e-mail to a friend I said something that I thought I would share.
Cleaning and laundry are not the typical things that most 20 somethings see as fun or worth taking time for. I know some of this falls under my personality but I look forward to time to keep my apartment clean. But maybe part of the reason this appeals to me is because it is normal. It is something I have done for almost as long as I can remember.
Is that why cleaning has such an appeal to me? It reminds me that life happens. I see cleaning as something to check off my list but it is also a task I don't need to think about. It requires nothing of me. I tackle it, I conquer it, and next week I will do it again.
Maybe I am just thinking too much....
Cleaning and laundry are not the typical things that most 20 somethings see as fun or worth taking time for. I know some of this falls under my personality but I look forward to time to keep my apartment clean. But maybe part of the reason this appeals to me is because it is normal. It is something I have done for almost as long as I can remember.
Is that why cleaning has such an appeal to me? It reminds me that life happens. I see cleaning as something to check off my list but it is also a task I don't need to think about. It requires nothing of me. I tackle it, I conquer it, and next week I will do it again.
Maybe I am just thinking too much....
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