Boxes

On Thursday I packed up my belongings. I packed them in boxes, put them in suitcases, and crammed as much as I could into my car. My life is reduced to boxes. I drove to my parents house in Michigan and began unpacking my carefully packed car. As I walked up the stairs in their house and opened my bedroom door I was greeted by more boxes. I keep thinking, "what are in these boxes?" I haven't really missed much in the last few months. Can I really have this much stuff?

I feel a little better realizing my room here is pretty small which creates the feeling of being packed with my belongings. How did I get so much stuff? I have a strong urge to just take boxes and get rid of it all, but I know there are treasured things in my boxes. Yet I won't use any of my things for a year if not longer.

These boxes also mean it is final. I have moved back in with my parents (which wasn't really part of my long term plan), I am unemployed, and I am right where I am suppose to be. I feel that sometimes God hands me a box of my life. It is full of things for me to go through and process, to laugh about, to feel my heart break with, and to be able to use. Boxes, so many boxes..I'm just glad I don't always have to move the boxes God gives me.

December already?

Time seems to be slipping by. This is sad and encouraging to my heart. It is sad because I will be leaving my life here in Marion soon, which I will miss. It is encouraging because it means a new chapter in my life is going to start. It is also sad because during moments with my friends I don't want the time to end. I want to freeze the moment and remember the conversations we had and the knowledge of knowing we are together in this moment.

I freeze moments in my mind that I love returning to and want to keep up my recollections. I know there will be days in Cambodia when I need to remember my ARD who put a orange cone in his parking spot to save it and my other ARD who moved it to take the spot. I want to remember the night I stayed up with 3 other friends playing Speed Scrabble till 3 in the morning. I never want to forget singing "Your too good to be true" at the top of my lungs with my roommate in Evans as we sang our hearts out to the empty hall way.

The encouragement I have in the middle of feeling sad is know that I have time stretching out in front of me next year. I get to be stretched and challenged in ways I can't even imagine; this is building excitement in my little adventurous heart. I want to embrace this next year because I know that time will keep moving and it will be over sooner then I can even know, which feels sad.