Being back

They always talk about how going back some place after being gone is never the same. Coming back to Cambodia was a whirl wind this past week and I hadn't really prepared myself. I thought I had nothing to prepare for. But after getting back to my hotel room feeling very sad I realized I was wrong. I was able to Skype with Dan and talking through everything helped.

The person I was who left in December is not the same person I am now. This place is no longer home but a place that is familiar. It feels easy being here and yet hard too. I feel torn and misplaced...almost like Cambodia forgot me once I left. But so much is still the same...which adds another layer of feeling. I know some of my perception might be from my jet leg and that I miss Dan so much it hurts. But part of me was not prepared to realized what Cambodia was for me last year is not what it will be about this year.

It helps to know this is ok...as does lunch with friends. I met up with a group of people for lunch today and it helped me remember what part of Cambodia will always be mine. It was easy to sit and be with these people. To laugh together and dive right into deep conversations. It didn't feel like 7 months since I saw them and being with them did good things for my heart. I loved sitting on the floor again and eating yummy Khmer food (which my body was excited about). It was good to hear their excitement for my up coming marriage, asking when they will get to meet Dan (thinking he might be coming too this week), and wanting to go out and celebrate our engagement while I am here.

This being only day one...well God only knows how the rest of the week will go :)