Life

I think too often we try to drowned the smell of life. On Saturday my staff helped at a Community Youth Outreach Center. Inside the building I was caught off guard by the smell that assaulted my nostrils. With every breath I had a memory of a mission trip overseas. Smells in other countries are strong, but here I have never smelled anything. I found the same smell in that old building.

Life. It's odor was everywhere. Some people commented on needing some fresh air after being in the building too long, but for me I found myself drawn to it. True it did not smell nice. It smelled real. Time, dust, tears, and life filled every corner of the room. I did not want to escape, I run too often from the real stuff in life. I want to drowned out the world through watching movies or reading a book. If I don't see or smell it, it must not exist.

Life happens, things change. Do you smell it? Do you feel it's sweet nectar on your lips? Do you embrace it? Do you run away?

If I could choose

I was playing Ultimate Frisbee last night and saw a swallow flying around the field. After watching the bird swoop, fly straight up while doing a barrel role, and then zoom off I decided I would like to be a swallow. A bird's eye view of God's creation, soaring high and doing tricky flying moves. Count me in!

That's all I wanted to share :)

No more

This weekend I was confronted by a true friend. He called me out on what he saw going on in my life and I was glad. I realized I have let certain things in my life take root in my attitudes. On inquiring with God about this it became very clear that I need to give up TV, Movies, videos, Video games, etc.. For the next year I will not voluntarily watch them. A few exceptions will be made for a video shown in chapel or showing my mission trip video...but other then that nothing!

I am very excited about this opportunity to flush the worldly influence from my system and learn more about myself. I will also use this as a chance to be a better steward of my time. I will be able to have more meaningful interactions and more quality time spent with friends. Let the year long fast begin!!!

Moda

He sat playing his guitar like a drug. The rhythm of the music rocked him gently as he sat. One leg folded under his body the other hanging down. It suited him to be slightly sipping on a drink between songs. The words he sang soothed the folds of my heart. I enjoyed the conversations around me, participated, and then sat to listen as he opened his heart and let it all hang out. He was intense in pouring himself out with his music, he desired us all to catch his passion and love.

His t-shirt in jeans were the perfect contrast to the room cloaked in formal design. He seemed to have been plucked out of a coffee shop and set down in this room of dress shirts and skirts. This did not bother him, he had his music and he needed nothing else.

To rejoice or not to rejoice, that is the question

The verse in the bible that always concerned me was the one that talks about rejoicing in times of suffering. I remember thinking that Paul must really have misunderstood something or was really confused. Why in the world would anyone rejoice in times of suffering? Doesn't God see that I am down, hurt, and in need of Him?

But that is the beauty and simplicity of the message. It ties in with the idea that when we are weak God is strong. When we are tired, burdened, or suffering that is when we only need to cry out to God and He is right there holding us, helping us, and carrying us.

The joy is in the denial of ourselves and the acknowledgement that we must call on God to help us. We have to the joy of clinging to God, to draw that much closer to God, and to be held by Him longer. Today my heart rejoiced in being reminded of this. I could actually praise God for the hardships of transitions, I could sing praise to His name for the promise of blessings yet to come, and found gladness swelling in my heart in realizing that He is right here holding my hand and will never let go.

Wedding pictures

Just a quick picture of us girls before Pete and Nicki's wedding at Tina's house.

At the wedding it is Me and Jen with Pete and Nicki.

Alone

Fun how things happen. One day up the next day down.
I stand, I sit, and then sing out loud.
I watch the silence pass.
I listen for a noise.

I hear nothing coming and something going.
Silence sometimes seems like death.
I try to call but no one's home.
I cry.

God comes near and I feel so unworthy of Him.
I feel His gentle hands around me.
I block out the devils' lies.
I let truth seep inside.

This too shall pass.