I have been feeling a shifting in my soul. I think it started in the last couple weeks. I have been learning more about myself lately and I wish for a little time to sort it all out. So I sit here late tonight telling myself I should get into bed because I have to get up and run by 6:30 tomorrow morning, yet here I sit. I talk to God and ask Him what some of this is suppose to mean, I don't really expect an answer. The following is some of my contemplation...
My media fast has been over for a week now. I have lost it from my life. This might seem funny but it is true. A year is a long time to have a discipline in your life. I am enjoying the time with people through movie watching, but I am not moving a TV back into my apartment. The haunting feeling of emptiness that follows after turning it off keeps me from moving it back in.
Relationships in my life are very important to me. I have been feeling blessed by the amazing women in my life and the joy I feel through them. I think of my guy friends and how some of them are such unexpected friends and how I see God in them amazes me.
Being in the college setting feels much harder right now then ever before. Everyone else in my life has moved on to a different surrounding and yet here I still am being a 20 something and getting paid to chill with amazing people. Yet I feel the difference this year. The balance of being a friend, boss, mentor, and still trying to maintain me. Sometimes I think people think I took the easy job in staying at school, it is nights like this that I realize that is not true and wonder if I would have stayed had I known the road. That answer is yes.
Guys...I am at an interesting place with this subject. I guess if only girls were reading this I might elaborate a little more, but in not knowing who will read this I just can't be that open on this subject. Not to mention that the meaning of my words seem lost at times through this venue. I guess if you really want to know, call me.
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