Hurting

Today is a "girly" day. It is slightly my fault, I started the day off with Robin Hood Prince of thieves. I caught myself thinking how nice it would be to be pursued by a guy. Someone who can't wait to hear what I have to say and me waiting with anticipation for him to speak as well. (tried to warn you..."girly" day.)Then my cousin e-mail saying we should get a group together and do something this weekend when I'm home...but I don't really have any friends back home. They are all married, and every time I call they always seem busy or their spouse doesn't want to do anything. The fact of the matter is I find myself missing people so much it hurts.

I have staff pictures for my screen saver. Every picture is tied to a memory, every memory usually involves laugher, love, and security. I don't know where I am right now. I don't know what tomorrow looks like and I want you all back here with me helping me know what to do.

But you can't be here. I am an adult now. I have to suck it up and begins to live on my own. My secret is that I came out of High School accustom to doing everything on my own because I didn't have a strong friend group. This past year God gave me you. I forget how lonely being a lone soldier is. I have been holding on to the last few friends here at school but in the next week I have to let go of them too.

I am praying that God would bring people into my life to fill your gap...but I know no matter who they are they won't be you. They won't make me laugh or smile the same way you did. So tonight I morn the loss of being a college student. I rejoice in having the priviledge of knowing you. And I look forward to God suprising me by having our paths cross again someday, even if I have to wait till we are in Heaven.