Flower

Dan's sister and her husband decided to decorate part of their daughter's rooms with art from family members...so for their first little girl everyone got a wooden butterfly and for their second girl we got flowers. It is so adorable to see them mounted on the wall and such a cute idea. I did not get to do a butterfly because Dan and I didn't even know each other at the time. But with baby number two I got to shake the dust off my creativity.

With my plain white flower in mind I started thinking about what I wanted to do. Plus as people turn their flowers back in we all get pictures of them. I am not really sure how I got the idea but decided on putting the meaning of her name on the flower. Than Dan and I headed to Michael's to see what inspiration we could conjure up. Slowly colors and idea's started to emerge and we ended up leaving with lots of fun things to use.

General lay out idea

With my lay out in mind I knew I wanted to paint my flower to add some texture. I haven't painted in a long time and think I might start doing more of it. I already draw in my journal...why not add painting?

Blue and Green watercolors

 Next I used the sparkling letters to spell out Captivating (the meaning of Rebecca) and made some adjustments to how I was going to lay out the birds and buttons.

I used some glue to attach the buttons and the birds already had a sticky side. My last move might be to add some sealer to the top but after everything dried it seems well secured on. Here are a couple pictures of the final flower :) I love how it turned out.

 Now I just need to get pictures of Dan's flower when he is done. I am excited to see it, he has a really good idea.

Be Joyful in Hope

Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

Hope scares me. It always feels like a bubble or a beautiful dream close enough to touch but fragile and quick to disappear. As God and I have been talking about Hope this year I found my first response was fear. I took a deep breath and thought, "not again; I thought we covered this one"...and did it well. During my last journey with Hope I even bought the word ( which I didn't want at the time). I didn't want the reminder of God asking me to Hope for things in my life; things I was scared I would never have.

I even had it in a specific location in my apartment where I would have to see it every day when I would walk in the door and before I left. I knew I had to choose Hope even when my heart was terrified. And though I found strength in the Hope I discovered with God I am still scared. For me Hope is about dreaming and God is calling my heart to dream, wish, and Hope. Hope more, Hope longer, Hope bigger, and in my Hope find joy.

Fear asks, " What if what I Hope for never happens?" It wants to pull me into myself, crawl some place safe and live in fear instead of possibly being disappointed. Disappointment happens but don't loose sight of Joy.

Fear keeps me from dreaming big, Hoping for more, and from experiencing joy. Dreaming gives joy, the joy of thinking about the possibilities. And there can be sadness in loss of expectations. But God isn't saying be joyful in expectations...be joyful in HOPE. Hope of what can be, what might be, and what could be. Hope is free from expectations.

I think God wants me to do a bit more untangling.

He makes all things new

Just because

What my wonderful husband had waiting for me when I got home from work this week :)

It's beginning to look a lot like summer....

First campfire of the year!!!

We decided to keep our Christmas tree and use it for firewood :) We can't wait to go camping.

The Burden

I was doing my devotions yesterday and found myself intrigued with what I was studying. I am reading the book "Edges of His Ways" by Amy Carmichael.  I have read this book before and love seeing what God pulls out when I go through a devotional a second time. To give you some context: Amy Carmichael was a missionary to South India in 1895 and this book is from her notes. I can't imagine the challenges of living overseas with no way to connect back home...yet like so many before her, she did.

Numbers 7:9 Upon their shoulders
 "The burdens we have to carry on our shoulders are what our God counts most precious."

This year is about experiencing God as Relentless and seeing the ways He is calling me to be Relentless as well. I was challenged to think about how I view my burdens, those things which weigh heavy on my heart and mind. The things which I struggle under and fall to my knees in prayer begging God to release me from. When in great need my face touches the floor and I will feel God's peace and strength fill me so I can rise carrying what He has asked.

God is calling me to be Relentless with these burdens, with this weight I carry. To carry them with joy and faith as God is being Relentless to use them to continue to shape me; burning away the ugliness and sin in my heart. The burden is part of what keeps me coming back to God, because sadly I'm not sure how often I would return if the weight didn't, at times, bring me to my knees. It is an easy choice not to become bitter or angry with the Lord. I trust Him. I believe Him. And He has been on this journey with me for too long for my heart to think He is not working towards something good in my life. He is the Healer, Life giver, Lover, and Purchaser of me.

As I sat with the Lord this morning talking about my burdens, tears streaming down my face, I heard His gentle whisper..."Do you trust me?" Do I trust Him enough to know He knows more and loves the people I love more than I ever could? That He is working towards something yet unseen to me? That He is producing things in me and the people I love through these burdens? That He is being Relentless with my heart as I Relentlessly work to choose joy? Yes Lord, I do...this is most precious to Him.

The Lotus Flower...pushing its way through heavy mud and dirt to find freedom

Extra's

I'm not sure we have enough pens or post-it notes....

Let the weeding out continue......

Valentine's Day

This week was about celebration, first with Dan's birthday on Monday and then Valentine's Day on Tuesday.  Seeing as we are trying to live on a budget we decided on going out for dinner and spending the rest of the evening at home. When I woke up Tuesday morning I found a dozen roses in the bathroom, which was amazing :)

We even got to have lunch together, which was also fun. We had been talking about where we wanted to go for dinner the previous night and decided on the Thai restaurant we both like, which meant Chinese for lunch and Thai for dinner...not that either of us minded :) I took some time to curl my hair before Dan got home so we could head out in hopes of getting a table.

The Shirley Temple look

We had a lot of fun and the food is always really good.  Back home we enjoyed watching New Girl (great new show if you haven't seen it) and cuddling on the couch. It was a great Valentine's Day and we both feel very blessed having each other in our lives.

Happy Birthday!

Today is Dan's Birthday... but we celebrated with our families this past weekend. My parents came down from Michigan, stopping to pick up his favorite doughnuts on the way, and brought down a few last wedding gifts and Dan's presents. We had a nice time chatting and playing cards after lunch before heading up to Shipshewana. We meet up with his parents and sister Emily for dinner. We had ate at the Blue Gate Resturant, which is always very good. My parents then drove home and the rest of us headed back to our house for cake and homemade ice cream.

I had fun using our ice cream maker and was excited to see how easily it was to use. I made strawberry sorbet and vanilla ice cream to go with the yellow cake with white frosting I made. We ate and gave Dan his gifts. Tonight Dan and I are going out for dinner and hopefully relaxing the rest of the evening. The interesting thing is everyone wishing Dan well for his last year in his 20's...I can't say being 30 is a huge deal to either of us. I think we are really going to enjoy our 30's and look forward to what things wait for us during that time in our life.

Weeding Out

Perhaps this is the time of year when most people do their "spring cleaning". A time when we look through what we have and decided what we need to get rid of. I don't know if Dan and I are "spring cleaning" but we are weeding out things from our house. I have boxes of things from childhood, previous jobs, and school. I found old stuffed animals and clothes that I haven't worn in a year.

As we are finding time to grab a box and sort things out we have been making piles. Piles to be donated, piles to dump, and piles to sell. It feels good to be weeding out our life. There is a calm that comes for me in being released from these things. I remember an old Adventure's in Odyssey broadcast (some of you know what I am talking about :)) that dealt with this topic. Adventure's in Odyssey was a radio show on in the evenings from Focus on the Family. They were always good and fun to listen to, but the one that I remember is when a guy had his "things" start talking to him. His toaster had demands about being cleaned out and his car was upset about something else. The guy on the show was running around trying to take care of everything.

The message that I hear loud and clear is that having "things" needs to be balanced...we shouldn't let our "things" control our life. As I have been looking at all my "things" I have to ask myself why I want to keep it. Why have I wanted to move it the past several moves? Why is it important to me? And the perspective that helps me let go the fastest is, why does it matter? Is this "thing" I have been storing in a box helping me fulfill God's call in my life or keeping me tied down away from it?

I want the freedom that comes from not having to maintain "things". As an RD I made sure to have furniture and other items in my house that if they were broken I wouldn't mind...not that I didn't have nice things, I just needed to be a step removed. I wanted to keep in mind that spending time with my staff and loving them was more important then the food they might spill on my couch or the mud on my floors.

What matters is not having a house full of things that when I am gone for a year I don't miss. So much of what I have been throwing away are things that I couldn't have told you I even had. I have been living with out them so why continue to keep them? I do have things that I have sentimental value in and those I keep. But I can't express the amazing freedom of being released from "things". To let what doesn't matter in my life slip away allowing space for the many things that do.

Relentless

For the past several years I have taken to heart what I heard from a speaker at camp one summer. He talked about having a verse for the year that he would pray over and see how God would use that verse for that year. I liked this idea of focus and in the first year found myself drawn to scriptures from Hosea and Joel...and watched as my faith and hope in God's promises shape and transform my life. When I was in Cambodia I also had verses from Matthew and Ezekiel and a phrase, "I make all things new"...and in a country were there is so much heartache and pain I found hope and God healed my heart.

 This year He has given me the word Relentless. I was thrilled when I discovered this word in my heart and excited by what it means. It is never stopping, never getting tired, never giving up. He will pursue till the very end. With in the first few weeks of this year I already can see God being relentless in all area's of my life.

As I pray for my relationship with Dan I find things coming to the surface that we need to talk about. And as we are talking through them (some of them being really hard things to talk through) we both know and are acknowledging how good these things are for us and for our relationship. I watch as God is pulling from my heart my selfishness and making me claim it and apologize for it. And the blessing is in laying down my pride and claiming my sin my heart keeps becoming more free. I find that it doesn't matter to me about being right in my relationships but that I am honest and honoring the people I love.

I am just at the beginning of this journey but feel thrilled every time I see God working and pursuing me and the people I love. I am being transformed deeper and I know there are going to be hard days, there already have been. But I also have felt that God is with me and as I fight for truth and freedom I feel peace that I am getting there. And in my devotions this week I sensed that maybe part of learning about God being relentless is also being called to be relentless too.

It is a call for me to pursue things in my life when it doesn't make sense to others. To see something that looks impossible and believe that it is possible. To not give up on God no matter how hard things get this year. And that I keep going no matter how tired I get because my strength needs to come from God. Relentless...again and again...deeper and deeper He calls me.

Relentless...God is Relentless!

Year in Pictures: 2011

Just some snapshots from 2011:

January: Re-adjusting to America

Feb: 1/2 Marathon with Cousin

March: Dan and I start dating

April: I gave myself bangs

 May: Camping with my family in Michigan

 June: Time in Michigan and at a Reds game

July: We got engaged

August: Cambodia

September: Colts game

October: We got married!

November: Tree Lighting

 December: Second reception in Michigan and Christmas

It was a good year :)



Sunday

I happened to be in the kitchen during the sunrise as I put a roast in the crock pot...

Meatloaf

For dinner last week I made Meatloaf for dinner. It was easy to make and was really good. I got the recipe from my friend Angie and I had not yet made it. Here are some pictures:

Before

After :)

I forgot to take a picture after it came out but there wasn't much left. It turned out really good and very filling.

Chocolate Frog

Dan and I finally opened our Chocolate Frog from Hogwarts. It was fun seeing how exact the ones we could buy were to the ones in movie. Sadly ours didn't jump but glad it was solid chocolate!

We also got a wizard card, which we were excited about. But dissapointed because it was Halga Huffalpuff...and as true Harry Potter fans we were hoping for Dumbledore. 

Christmas

For Christmas this year Dan and I were in Indiana, my first time away from my parents on Christmas. This Christmas Eve also marked my return to America. Strange how fast a year can move by and how much can happen in that time. It was odd thinking back on my excitement as I flew home on Christmas Eve and how relieved I was to be back last year. I had been dealing with secondary trauma from the work I was doing in Cambodia and needed the break.

This year I was prepared for a bitter sweet Christmas Eve and that is how it ended up. Not because of anything that we did or how we spent out time but inside I was struggling. Dan very thoughtfully suggested we eat Thai food for lunch and at the restaurant I sat and cried missing Cambodia and feeling guilty for leaving (I am still dealing with secondary trauma).  For Christmas Eve we opened our stockings and had dinner with Dan's parents and sister Emily, went to their church's service, and than returned to their house to watch It's a Wonderful Life (one of my gifts to Dan).

On Christmas day I surprised Dan with a box of Fruit Loops (one of his families traditions) and then we opened gifts. We had fun and even bought each other the same gift...the first game we ever played together. We laughed about it and had to get a picture.

Dan's Collection and newest addition

The Chimney Sweep (and new T-shirt on Dan)

Our games :)

Dr. Mario and Tetris for my Supernintendo!!!

our shirts from Kenneth and Karie

After opening gifts we went over to his parents, there we opened more gifts with the family. After gifts we watched Christmas movies, ate lunch, and played games. I won the round of Phase 10 and Ticket to Ride, which we taught Dan's dad and Emily. It was fun spending time together and munching on sweets. After games we headed home and called Dan's other sister Karie and my family. It was a really great Christmas and I felt very blessed and loved.

Walk Way of Lights

A few days before Christmas I surprised Dan by taking him down to Marion for dinner to eat at our favorite Mexican place. He had not been there in months and I arranged for a group of our friends to be there as well. Most of the group we had seen at our Christmas party but one couple hadn't been able to come. It was fun chatting and eating the delicious food.

After we finished up we drove to the park to do Marion's Walk Way of Lights. It is amazing and very well done. I knew Dan would not have heard of them and I love going through. Here are some of the pictures we got from the car.

Train Engine

Paddle Boat and Sea Creature on the River

Entrance

Gingerbread house

Ants stealing a Candy Cane, Santa in the back

We had a great time driving through, though you can also walk it if you want. They also had the 12 days of Christmas, all the main Colleges and Universities in Indiana, and some of the lights have a sequence of outlines to make it look like something is moving. Those are harder to take pictures of  :)