Home

Well I was going to give myself a couple weeks but it hit me pretty hard this morning. I miss home...home being the people I love, the places I am use to going, and the things I could count on. Thankfully I am not seeing this as Cambodia's fault or am upset with anything here. I am just sad. I have cried many tears, some which my parents saw on Skype this morning, and I'm sure more to come. I just keep hoping no one asks how I am doing because that seems to be when the flood gates open. It doesn't help that I have not been getting good sleep as I am still adjusting or that my body has decided to feel sick the last few days (crazy body, all my past traveling and yet it NOW decides to act up). It really does help to know people are praying for me but I just want someone I know to show up and give me a big hug. But I don't think that will be happening today.

So I accept that I am sad. Nothing more and nothing less. If I cry more today I will cry more. I know it will pass but in the mean time I am trying to occupy my time as I am still being shown the ropes and do not yet have any type of responsibilities or much to do. I am doing my language study but that is only about an hour a day plus the time I spend going over it. I am at my office now to start getting in the habit of coming here but who knows...maybe that won't even be everyday :) Which is fine, I just wish I had a bit more of the details at the moment...but maybe that is what I am suppose to be looking at in my life. How comfortable am I with just "being"? Why does my comfort level have to be based on what I am accomplishing or doing? Why is purpose defined by actions? or lack of actions? Well I have plenty of time to think about them...but I should be looking over my language study:)I have a whole new level of respect for people who learn languages...so many high hopes and yet so much vocabulary and grammar to learn!!