Today is my day off, which ended up being a good thing because today was not a good day. My heart hurts, not just in the emotional sense but physically last night and today my heart has felt squeezed in my chest. I had a good day yesterday followed by some disheartening news. I felt today spinning out of my control.
I have cried, been very angry, climbed back in bed after being up, going my church and praying, and then sitting with a friend who let me sit in my pain. I have been wounded by a friend. Someone I was told to trust and yet they have hurt me in a way I never thought they would. God has been reminding me of Grace and forgiveness. I am praying that God would save me from myself, I don't want to be angry and bitter. Those emotions simply cover the hurt...I need to sit in it. People make choices, sometimes not considering others. Granted I am not running out to spend time with this person...I need distance and time to sort through things.
The amazing part to all of this is God's perfect timing. He has been preparing me to hear this news for the last week and a half. He didn't let me find out on a day I couldn't handle it. And for the first time in my life I am ok with being sad...to sit in it and know that I will not be overwhelmed by it. To watch the body of Christ surround me and try to hold me in it.
God's truth is that there is always hope. It will hurt for a while but the sun always shines after the rain.
0 comments:
Post a Comment