Why do good girls go after bad boys? This question has long been debated. After some very good discussions and allowing things to percolate (that's for you George!) in my brain for a while I have come to some conclusion. Disclaimer: I am not bitter, I just find this interesting...
Good girls like bad boys perhaps because of the thrill or because they do not see them selves as being worth much. It is easier to like someone who might like you and then leave you allowing yourself to continually feel like crap. If a girl does not like herself why would she pursue relationships with amazing guys...she does not feel as though she measures up. Then you have a girl who takes a risk only to be told "you are a beautiful person" (guys don't ever say that...in girl world it means, "your fat and or ugly")
On the same hand why do guys typically go after the girls who are size 3 or smaller, have blond hair, and seems sort of ditzy? (Yes I'm making a stereotype!) perhaps good girls also run to the bad boys because they might not care as much if she is not supper skinny and ditzy. I am not totally sure why guys generally go for the skinny girls other then the mass media messages.
Are we all just scared of taking risks? Of loving someone and then having them walk away from us? Why do guys not pursue with abandon and girls not allow themselves to be loved?
So where do you fall in this? Do you agree with me? If not I would love to hear what you think!
4 comments:
Question... when you tell a girl "you are a beautiful person," that translates "you're fat and or ugly," right? Does that include any use of the word beautiful .. or just in that way? For example, does telling a girl she is beautiful translate the same way? Or is it the wording "beautiful person" that creates this phenomenon?
Comment... I know I certainly don't go for the girls who are size 3 or smaller, have blonde hair, and seem sort of ditzy. (Of course, I'm not sure what classification of guy I am either). I typically don't care the ditzy girls (and same for the flirty girls).
I would agree that we (typically) are scared to take risks. Which is really silly when you think about it.
Why don't the girls run to me? I bet it's because I don't have a colon...
...I think it's a conspiracy.
When refering to a girl as "beautiful person" or "personality" that can be translated as "you're ugly and or fat"...pretty much anything that avoids or is a nice way of not mentioning their looks. Girls want to be seen as beautiful, true the inside is what matters...but girls are bombarded by the world telling them they have to be beautiful on the outside too. Guys need to understand this because it is key in learning how to care about the women in their life.
I have learned that the guys that go for the size 3 girls that you can fly a kite in their head are in fact the guys we don't want to date. Their the ones that aren't Christians and see girls as objects, not people.
Those guys that we do think are great guys with their focus on God, do not go for those types of girls. Sure, you'll find some that have found great Christian girls that are that size and look, but that's not their focus.
I think the reason good girls go after bad boys is because we feel we can 'fix' or help them. I've been there and I've dated a guy who wasn't exactly bad, but not quite on the good end of things. I think we're also drawn to that adventurous/warrior like quality they possess.
And dating??..ya, it's a risk and it's scary because there's always the possibility of rejection and hurt. Once you've tasted it, you don't ever want to taste it again so the possibility of having that again scares you. I know it scares me.
Jennifer,
You said..."I have learned that the guys that go for the size 3 girls that you can fly a kite in their head are in fact the guys we don't want to date. Their the ones that aren't Christians and see girls as objects, not people."
They aren't christians? They see girls as objects? That seems a bit unfair to me. Perhaps they have just bought into the worlds standards of love and beauty just like a Christian who looks into the mirror for 3 hours in the morning, defining their beauty by the magazine covers. The world is tricky. But they are still Christians, just deceived ones.
As far as dating goes, IWU definately has screwed a lot of girls and guys up. The girls who are waiting to be asked have often already turned down 2 or 3 quality guys, making them paranoid about ever asking again. If you are single and have never been asked, You can thank the girl down the hall who doesn't know a good guy from a bad one. That's why risks are scary...because they've been proven to not be worth it at IWU. (and I'm bitter...haha ok not really, but I am just giving you a guys perspective).
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